Lizard burps and farts!

Miller, my Bearded Dragon has been eating lots of canned crickets, green beans and fruit, plus her dry processed food pellets and snacking on dried meal worms. But she has not been drinking her water and she had gotten bloaty and her tummy was HUGE!

She hadn't pooed in a couple of weeks. Beardies usually go every two or three days, at least. I tried giving her digestive drops and no go. Today she was swelled up like a water balloon and I was contemplating taking her to the vet, but last time I took her in it ended up costing me $225 and though I thought she was dying, it was only that she was about to lay eggs. That was when we still didn't know that he was a she and the vet didn't catch that one either even after paying all that money!

As the evening wore on, she looked quite uncomfortable, and I picked her up and she felt almost hollow inside, but her underside was huge and her skin tight like a drum. I put her back in her tank and she started making tiny burping noises, then would swallow after each one. She was breathing fast as if she was in distress. I had to think of something to help her out because I was in distress watching her be in distress. I filled a plastic tub full of real warm water like the lizard guidebook says to do. I then put her into the water and she didn't fight me like she usually does when I try to give her a bath. After being in the water for only about 2 minutes, this HUGE blast of a fart came out of her and made bubbles in the water as if a balloon were deflating! Oh my gosh did that STINK! Then she pushed out a log that was the size of my thumb! She shyly looked up at me afterwards like Mom, get me out of this stinky water and give me a shower.

She seems fine now but really tired from all that ordeal.

Last time we had a lizard crisis was when she gulped her green beans too fast and they stuck in her throat and I had to pry her jaws open while my son looked in with a flashlight and plucked the pieces out with a pair of tweezers! Then I had to blow into her face to get her breathing again. (No lip contact, I wasn't about to give mouth-to-mouth to a lizard!)

You would think that a lizard would be no trouble at all, and she usually isn't but she sure has some weird emergencies!