Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Snowing, snowing, snowing

I am watching the snow from the inside and wishing I didn't have to go outside. While it is pretty to look at, it's not very fun to walk in, especially with a bad back and ankle. I am terrified of falling down.

When I was a little kid I loved days like this. I couldn't go out very often because I was asthmatic so when I did go out, time was limited. One of my favorite memories was when my brother, sister and me all had colds and couldn't go out and play in several inches of freshy fallen snow and my Dad bundled all up and we watched through a window as he built a snowman. My mom donated one of her headscarves, and he put rocks for eyes and mouth and buttons, a carrot for nose and sticks for arms. My mom has a photo of it and I need to borrow some of these images to scan and keep for myself and my kids.

The weather this year has been very blustery and freezing cold. We've had more freezing rain than I can ever remember. Over the weekend, the house and fence, deck, trees were all coated in ice. Usually, ice melts off rather quickly on the house and tree limbs, but not this time. And Saturday night the house was making booming noises and sounded like beams were splitting. Anyone know what would cause that? It sounded as if a giant was slamming his fist against the side of the house and roof at random times. The deck makes a similar sound as boards contract in the freezing weather, but never heard anything boom or make a noise in the cold before.

Tomorrow is Christmas eve. The best thing about the holidays is getting together with family and friends and eating food that we really shouldn't be eating and exchanging gifts and seeing the kids' eyes light up as they open their presents. Though I am a bit nervous about walking outside, I am looking forward to getting dressed up a bit and going to visit friends. First we will visit some long-time friends at 4 and stay for a bit and then we will be heading to our best friends Pam and Eddie for dinner and to spend the evening talking, playing cards and just chit chatting by their fireplace. Then Christmas day we are going to my parents' place which I look forward to the most. We do miss the old days though when the kids were all little and playing with each other and all dressed up in fancy outfits. All of us together. Now it's hard to get everyone together. The grandkids are scattered, and some have kids of their own. My middle son now has in-laws so is in Albany, NY with all of them. My daughter lives out east and has Christmas "gigs" and can't make it home, unfortunately. Our oldest son lives nearby so we can look forward to him coming over and being with us and giving him his presents and then going with us to my parents' house for dinner.

Then soon it will be all over with and New Year's eve will come and go and before you know it 2009 will be underway. What happened to 2008? It seemed to have flown by. But I missed all of autumn with spending weeks in agony and in and out of the hospital and emergency rooms. I am so thankful I have the hubby I have. He has been my rock in all of this...as he always is (even though he loses his patience with the medical staff at times..only because he cares).

Hope for happy and healthy new year for everyone. Hopefully I can manage to stay out of the hospital this coming year and recover from this back crap and ankle crap and get back to normal. I am sure by spring I will be near to normal.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Friday, December 05, 2008


I am still confined to just walking, limited sitting time and can lay down in between. I still can't do too much of anything. I have been writing letters paragraph by paragraph, and then challenging myself to read at least a page or two before nodding off. I am getting back into blogging little by little.

I bought myself, online, a coloring book of kaleidoscope designs. I started coloring them with crayons but had to have my daughter dig out my professional colored pencil set before she left.

I have plenty to keep me busy with all the pen friends I have via snail mail and online, and reading and blogging, etc. But I am getting sick of being in the house and when Jon gets home he has been out already all day since 4 a.m when he leaves to go to work. So, to take me out is very difficult for him. But last night we did go out to Wendy's for chicken nuggets and a root beer and then stopped by the Verizon store in town to look at the phone I am getting after Christmas when our contract renews. I want the new DARE phone. I was looking at it back in the summer when it first came out, before all this surgery happened. Last night I got a better look at it and I really do want that phone.

I have therapy tonight. Not looking forward to that. I just go for my ankle right now since they can't work on the back till doctor says. The other day when I went to therapy, the day Mary took me, the therapist said the scar on my ankle was really kinking up and she rubbed the hell out of it and it hurt really bad and though I didn't scream and holler like some people do, I simply asked "Is it supposed to hurt that bad when you do that?" and she sympathetically said "yes, I have to break up this scar tissue or else you will never regain normal motion". Since she did that it's been sore as hell. I still do my exercises for it, it is getting loser so I imagine it will get better soon if I keep working at it.

I go to see my ankle doctor on Wednesday. He will say how much more therapy I have to do and to figure out how to work the harder exercises into my back routine...things I can do for the ankle that won't interfere with the back. I do not want to pop a screw of do like the therapist said mostly happens...when people fall or whatever after having fusion it usually blows a disc above or below the fusion, or breaks a vertabrae above or below the fusion. So, I need to be extremely careful.

I am still with my stupid aluminum granny walker. I walk away from it a few steps now sometimes. I am not really supposed to be doing that, but I am careful and don't walk into open areas without it. Going out is a real hassle with it. Get me in the vehicle, then fold up the walker and get that in the vehicle, then where we go I have to wait for him to get the walker, then climb out of the vehicle, and then stand up with the walker. It's been over a month since my operation and it seems like I have not progressed much at all. Still moving the same ways as I am told, rolling side to side in bed, no reaching behind me or twisting to get stuff. Using my grabber tool to pick stuff up that I cannot reach without bending. I will be so glad for the day when I can move freely again. Well, as free as I can. But doctor assures me the day will come and though some motion will be limited, it will be normal for me and I will be in good shape.

So enough time on here, I better go do some walking.

My new coat

Here is a pic of the new coat my husband has ordered for me for Christmas. I told him awhile ago that I would love a long winter coat since my butt gets so cold with the shorter jackets. I get so cold nowadays. He told me to go to the LL Bean site yesterday and we were looking at it again and he said to buy it. I told him that we could see how things look after hospital bills are paid off and he said just get it, so I did. I can't wait. I might just sleep in it. :- )

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Mary went back home today...sniff

Our daughter, Mary arrived home on November 26th and spend Thanksgiving here with us and went home today, December 3rd and I spent the entire morning crying. I usually do cry when she leaves, but not all morning. I guess it's because she pays attention to me. She was sick when she got here, and we spent the whole time together. She even took me to a therapy session. I don't have to ask her for even the simplest things. And if I do ask her for something it isn't "in a minute" or "later" she does it right away. Some say that is because she was only here for a week, but I don't think so.

Even the times I have visited her when I was well, she was very helpful and patient. And even as a little kid she was the same way. I miss her very much already and wish her music hadn't taken her so far away. She is a trumpet player in an orchestra out east. She also has students, is an adjunct professor out there and does solo and ensemble gigs. So, her whole life is going out there.

She is lonely too a lot (her boyfriend is working in another town and they have a long-distance relationship), but she just can't do what she is doing there here in Chicago. Chicago is more of a Blues town, music-wise. It's nearly impossible to make the Chicago Symphony...have to wait till someone dies for there to even be auditions for anything. And though there are show orchestras, etc it's very difficult to get into those. Our east there are many more better paying wedding gigs, and other events. For some reason Chicagoland is very cheap about what they pay musicians for those things.
I hope to get well enough to go out and visit her for a week in April. That will be the five month mark and within the average time frame of the fusion being completed. So, we shall see. If I can't get out there I want to pay for her to come here again.