Groundhog day

Have you ever seen the film, Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? Murray plays reporter, Phil Conner who goes to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania on Groundhog Day to report if groundhog Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, which would signify whether there will be six more weeks of winter. But what happens is that Phil is forced to relive the day over and over again until he can learn to give up his selfishness and become a better person.

I don't consider myself to be a selfish person, but I have felt all too often that each day is the same as the last and something had to change. One day rolled into another and another and all too often it would be difficult to differentiate one day from another. Each day I wake up, and before I know it, it's time to go back to bed, then morning comes...then ZIP! another day whizzes by and I find myself crawling under the covers again. There is nothing we can do to slow down the clock, and we sure aren't living the same day over and over like in Groundhog Day, but I realize I can decide what I am going to do with that 24 hours a day, and what order I am going to do things in.

So now, each day I purposely do things in a different order so each day is somewhat different that the last. I don't want to make schedules of what to do on certain days because then it just becomes the same old expected thing. I have decided to just do what I feel like, when I feel like it on the weeks I am not working on a project. Why let myself get stuck in a rut when I don't have to (like my poor hubby who has to get up at 4 a.m. every single day to go to his job -- but he seems to like his different challenges he has at work each day so it's not all bad though he would rather win the lottery and travel around the world or something).

Since I have no clock to punch at the moment, I decided to let myself wake up whenever I woke up...and woke up at 10 a.m. a few days ago, then 8:30 a.m. the following day, then 8-ish a.m. the day after that, and 8-ish a.m. day before yesterday, then 8-ish yesterday, then 8:15 this morning. Damned if my body isn't setting it's own clock to be the same ol' time every single day! How redundant! I am trying to avoid redundancy! Probably because my subconscious is telling me that Miller has to be uncovered around 9 because Bearded Dragons need regularity with their light and heat. So, more redundancy, but necessary redundancy. Then my medicine. I have to take my blood pressure and heart medicine at regular times, so that is a little problem if I sleep too late anyway. That's probably in the back of my mind, also.

I have breakfast after the medicine so I don't get sick to my stomach. Then I check email, and my blogs to see if any comments are left for me. Before, I would shower and dress immediately after that, but lately I have been staying in my pajamas if I feel like it, or write letters, read a book, draw or paint, talk on the phone, and any other of the wide variety of things I like to do. But it's always the same thing in the end. No matter how I arrange my day, I am crawling under the covers around midnight feeling deja vu and wondering where the day went! Then waking up the next morning thinking damn...morning already! Then I go in to uncover Miller and get my medicine, then my breakfast, then my email . . . . . . . .